Wrapped In Cotton Wool for a Reason

(5.18 x 5.18) x 2  = 26.83 (3.05 x 3.05) x 2 = 9.30

26.83 + 9.3 = 36.13

36.13 square meters

Because I have all the maturity of a 15 year old, when my wife suggested we get a trampoline I thought that was a great idea. As my kids, Thing 1 and Thing 2, are 13 and 11 and both do acrobatics, I naturally thought that big is best. I didn't want one of those stupid round trampolines for jumpy fun. I wanted a proper big rectangle one. So we hit the net (the internet) and found what we were looking for. 

When I went to pick it up in the company ute, I just happened to have a dual axle 2 tonne capacity flat bed trailer on the back (it carries my bobcat). I'm glad I did because this thing was gargantuan. So big was it, that I actually had to bring Google Earth up on my phone, find my house and measure my back yard. That little excercise suggested it was going to be a tight fit, so I asked my dear wife to go home from work and actually physically measure the back yard. 

She expressed grave concern and suggested we get a smaller one (that would be sensible), so I bought the bigger one.

I thought that Thing 1 & 2, could do many tricks on such a big trampoline. And with that towering safety net and padded springs we would be safe from any possible injury. Certainly, much safer than when I was a child. Back then, a failed attempt at a double back would send you shooting off the side of the tramp and the closest thing to a safety net was the old Super Six asbestos fence. A  front half twist resulted in both legs through the springs and the only padding to cushion the blow was your underpants and shorts. The advantages of trampolining back in my day were twofold: fitness and the ability to sing soprano after nearly every accident.

But, alas, my mega tramp came with a strict warning. There was to be no somersaults, flips, twists or double bouncing i.e. no fun. It said so in bright white permanent marker in a big bold white box on the safety padding at the entry point. The warnings were hard to miss, to say the least.

So after about......ooooohhhhhhh......maybe, 15 seconds I decided that, as the manufactures were not present in the privacy of my back yard, we would ignore the warnings and bust out some big moves. Needless to say, it was not long before our lack of attention to safety bit us on the backside.

This trampoline has 36.13 square meters of safety netting and only about 1 square meter in which to enter and exit. Thing 2 undid the zipper to enter whilst Thing 1 was bouncing. Thing 2 did not think to close the zipper. After a very nice layout back somersault with an very unfortunate over-rotation Thing 1 shot back wards on the rebound of her landing. Of the 36.13 square meters of netting, she some how managed to find the gap you see pictured above. She also found a Cottonwood tree and a soft clump of Liriopes. Luckily, she did not manage to find the concrete wall.

After some remedial therapy on Thing 1, I decided to recapture my youth (as a gymnast) and attempt a layout back-sault half twist. I promptly landed on my face and this morning my neck is very sore . Now I have to stare at my laptop with my head skewed so that my left ear is nearly resting on my shoulder. 

Today I am off to the newsagent to get one of those big, fat white ink permanent markers.