Don't Poke a Troll Pith One Instead

In 2010 I bought a little Sony handicam and an editing program called Sony Vegas. As a field zoologist I was travelling prodigiously and I was seeing so many cool things that it would have been a crime not to record them. As a presenter on my own documentary I thought I was OK. Knowledgeable enough to be informative and animated enough to be interesting. As a producer I was remarkably efficient. I can remember, on more than one occasion, gathering a weeks worth of footage out bush, cutting and editing it on the 4 hour flight home from Kununurra to Perth and having it ready to upload as soon as I was within range of my WiFi. A ridiculous amount of effort went into the process and it was a lonely undertaking. So what did I get out of it? The number of hits was a true and real-time indication that the world beyond my screen was seeing what I saw when I was out in the wilderness a million miles from home. 

However, if I am to be totally honest, I am sorry to say that the dozens upon dozens of comments on social media became my vice. Like an illicit drug, the comments about my uploads were my best friend one day and my worst enemy the next. One comment would feed my ego and the next would crush my soul.

I know a great many people who present on screen. Having been invited to feature on a total of five full-on wildlife documentaries I have worked closely with the likes of William McInnes (author and that lanky cop on Blue Heelers) and Steve Blackshall of Deadly 60 fame.

I wonder how many personalities can put their hand on their heart and state, with conviction, that they accept the role of Presenter only so that they may have the privilege of acting as a conduit to communicate a story to the masses. How many would see being a presenter on the TV as a self-less act to benefit those less fortunate than them who are stuck at home on the sofa. I suspect not many. Like I was, I expect that the majority of them are inherently narcissistic. This is not necessarily a bad thing. After all, if it were not for the narcissists then our TV screens and iDevices would comprise only images of animals and landscapes with voice overs and no-one on screen to engage us. 

But one thing is for certain: When you make the decision to step in front of the camera then you make a decision to accept that whatever burns into the hard drive of that camera is ultimately gong to be cast out into the public domain like a clay pigeon, whether you like it or not. When you choose to be on camera you choose to be a little black duck on Day 1 of Duck Season. You put a big fat target on your back.

How I saw myself as an on-screen wildlife presenter - free as a bird; poetry in motion

How the trolls see me by virtue of the fact that I chose to be on camera

I uploaded 19 episodes of the Snake Whisperer and, until another gentleman trademarked the name,  my video (without any promotion or cyber wizardry) was the first to appear on a Google search. Until the day that it all went horribly wrong. During a live interview on a popular radio station called NOVA, where the intent was to help people overcome a fear of snakes, I was bitten by a Western Tiger Snake. NOVA were filming and they released it onto YouTube. You can join the other 54, 512 viewers and take a look.

But do me the courtesy of watching it to the end. You see, the Trolls did not and they were ruthless in their assault on my integrity, my personality and my purpose. It did not matter to them that I was trying to convey a positive message about snake safety and snake conservation. I was the idiot that was playing with a venomous snake in an awkward situation and I got bitten. As far as the Trolls were concern I deserved it and, it would seem, many would have been quite happy to have seen me drop to my knees and fall face down in a puddle of vomit and urine. Within days the footage had been viewed more times than all of my Snake Whisperer episodes put together and the pages and pages of vitriolic comments continued to flow. The damage was done and I don't think I never made another episode of the Snake Whisperer after that.

Now I hide behind the camera and I have discovered a little serenity. I have all the freedom in the world to communicate what I see and what I do. But the mere practice of not putting my face on screen seems to have created a far less penetrable, much more Troll proof body amour. I used to think I was Teflon coated and bullet proof, but now I realise that that is not the case and that there are others out there who have thicker skin than I. So I want to write for those people. I will write and they can tell the stories. And I won't be alone anymore.

With my new body armour on I am ready to wage war on the trolls. I will be at the right hand of my on-screen talent and I very much look forward to pithing my first Troll.