Parenting on Auto Pilot

When my kids were just little pupae they were so easy to entertain. The smallest action elicited a reaction. Bounce them on your knee and they giggled. Read them a story and your voice captivates them and cultures their imagination.

As they grew a little older, a little more effort and animation was required to light up their little faces.

Then one day they did not just grow a little older, they grew an opinion. Suddenly I was no longer free to engage my own imagination, adopt my own personas or even build my own style of Lego moon buggy. All of a sudden I had to play their games their way. This took a little of the wind out of my parental sails.

One day your kids are teenagers and although you think you spend sufficient with them, ask yourself this question: Do I parent on Auto Pilot?

When you make yourself available to do the sports run of an afternoon do you do the journey in silence? Yes  - you are a good parent for always being available to drop them off but do you engage with them along the way, asking questions of them and actually hearing the answer? We have all seen that classic 21st century parenting moment when the loving mother takes her toddler to the park and in between pushes on the swing she is frantically texting, checking Facebook or tweeting. Engaged with the child? No. On auto pilot? More likely. Regular readers may recall that I teach my daughter's acrobatics classes. I committed to this to get more involved in their sport. But sometimes I come home from class and cant even remember seeing my own child in the class, even though I know I took her there and brought her home again!!

For my daughters birthday I bought her a slot car set - OK.....I bought it for me knowing that she would enjoy it for at least 5 minutes. Last night both daughters and I were playing together and filming the cars racing around the track and crashing. It was so much fun that I forgot to have a shower, Thing 1 forgot to do her homework and Thing 2 forgot to finish the dishes.

Flying the proverbial parental passenger jet is hard work. Auto Pilot is convenient and it simplifies the task somewhat, but switch it off once in a while to truly experience the journey. And for all those overgrown kids out there enjoy our slot car carnage in slow-mo Slot Car Carnage