Classical Creations

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. We all know this is true. But it is how we perceive things that allows us to truly appreciate them. Perception is the single greatest determinant in how we feel about something.

I perceive the true beauty in the organisms that most would consider formidable at best and foul and loathsome at worst. Is my vision clouded? Or am I seeing something that others are not. 

What if I provide you with an exquisite back drop of classical music from the eminent minimalist composers Philip Glass. Will that make this mygalomorph spider any more appealing. 

Funny that I should chose Phillip Glass: a noteworthy contributor to the minimalist movement who has been constantly chastised and challenged by mainstreamers in classical circles for over simplifying the art of composition.

Classical Creations

Parenting on Auto Pilot

When my kids were just little pupae they were so easy to entertain. The smallest action elicited a reaction. Bounce them on your knee and they giggled. Read them a story and your voice captivates them and cultures their imagination.

As they grew a little older, a little more effort and animation was required to light up their little faces.

Then one day they did not just grow a little older, they grew an opinion. Suddenly I was no longer free to engage my own imagination, adopt my own personas or even build my own style of Lego moon buggy. All of a sudden I had to play their games their way. This took a little of the wind out of my parental sails.

One day your kids are teenagers and although you think you spend sufficient with them, ask yourself this question: Do I parent on Auto Pilot?

When you make yourself available to do the sports run of an afternoon do you do the journey in silence? Yes  - you are a good parent for always being available to drop them off but do you engage with them along the way, asking questions of them and actually hearing the answer? We have all seen that classic 21st century parenting moment when the loving mother takes her toddler to the park and in between pushes on the swing she is frantically texting, checking Facebook or tweeting. Engaged with the child? No. On auto pilot? More likely. Regular readers may recall that I teach my daughter's acrobatics classes. I committed to this to get more involved in their sport. But sometimes I come home from class and cant even remember seeing my own child in the class, even though I know I took her there and brought her home again!!

For my daughters birthday I bought her a slot car set - OK.....I bought it for me knowing that she would enjoy it for at least 5 minutes. Last night both daughters and I were playing together and filming the cars racing around the track and crashing. It was so much fun that I forgot to have a shower, Thing 1 forgot to do her homework and Thing 2 forgot to finish the dishes.

Flying the proverbial parental passenger jet is hard work. Auto Pilot is convenient and it simplifies the task somewhat, but switch it off once in a while to truly experience the journey. And for all those overgrown kids out there enjoy our slot car carnage in slow-mo Slot Car Carnage

Fighting to Stay Afloat

Remember that classic line in Top Gun when Stinger gets right in Maverick's face and barks "Son, your ego is writing cheques your body cant cash!!!"

The ink has only just dried on the most recent cheque that my ego wrote: I put my hand up to do the kayak leg of the Rapid Ascent Augusta Adventure Race. There are a number of problems with this. 

The first is that I don't kayak; or rather can't. The extent of my understanding of this sport could easily be scribed into the back of a Dispirin with a pick. Earlier this year we purchased four kayaks for the family to enjoy down at the river and we managed to use them twice before they were all stolen. But I have three months to learn so I guess I will be OK - won't I?

Friday just past it was time to gear up so I could commence my rigorous three month training regime. As is always the way with recreational pursuits, the number of items you consider absolutely essential at the precise time you decide to engage in the sport are very few. For me, I imagined I would need a paddle and a kayak so I set about finding both. I got lucky!These two items came as a pair and they both match in a lovely shade of faded mauve. The number of kayaks for sale second hand accurately reflects the number of people who attempt this sport, fail dismally and give up. This leaves them with 5.7m plastic or fibreglass garden ornament that sits unwanted and unloved until such time as they find some other sucker (me) to on-sell it to in a vain attempt to recover what appears, at the moment, to be a very large some of money.

When considering which Kayak I should buy I sought advice from a friend at work who had been through the kayak selection process only recently. He said three words: stability, stability, stability. What I heard was cheap, cheap, cheap. As a consequence I have just purchased a second hand 'Stinger' which the previous owner clearly espoused on the advert was, and I quote "tippy and not for beginners". 

The second fundamental problem is that I am very scared of sharks. Did I mention this is an ocean race? 

I have annotated the course route (above) with icons that best represent how I feel the race will progress for me. Starting in the inlet, my heart will be racing at about 190 bpm when I finally realise what my ego has gotten me into. The second icon represents the turbulence that I will need to negotiate as the river meets the mighty and unforgiving southern ocean: here I suspect I will drown several times. Next I will get eaten by a shark in the cold shallow waters of the bay and then I will likely be struck by an ocean liner out in deeper water. When I finally head back toward the safety of dry land I will feel like I have been run over by a bus when I realise that it is not over and I still have to paddle along the coast through the crashing waves. If I ever reach the finish line I am certain my shoulders will explode with a ferocity that parallels the eruption of Mt Vesuvius. 

Today I am taking my kayak to the river to attempt to sit on it for the first time. If you never see another blog posted by Mitch Ladyman, it will be because the cheque bounced.