Nauseatingly Good Fun

My brain pangs like somebody is scratching at it with a hunting knife via my left eye. 

Question 1 of 1 - What was the catalyst for my brain ache?

a) Fatigue

b) Noise

c) Inhalation of noxious fumes

d) Ingestion of an immense amount of dust

e) All of the above

Yesterday, I woke up at 0330 hrs anxious about the day that lay ahead. After floating around on net for a while I could wait no longer. I jumped in the ute, which I had packed and ready to roll, and hit the road. So in the zone was I that I missed a major turn-off, wasted 15 minutes recovering and then proceeded down the wrong highway to my first ever motocross event. I wasn't going the wrong way, just not the best way and making it to scrutineering on time was looking like it was going to present some challenges. Two hours later I arrived. On my arrival I came to unsettling realisation that I still had to drive for another two hours to get home after a whole day of racing.

The Hotham Valley in Western Australia is both tranquil and idyllic. Fat lambs graze and frolic midst the long green grass and horses stand staunch yet peaceful against a backdrop of heavy early-winter fog. On any Sunday, if you listen carefully you can hear absolutely nothing other than the whistle of the old steam-driven Hotham Valley Tourist Train cascading through the valleys; but not today.

Today, at 9:45 six classes, comprising at least 150 riders, lined up at the starting gate to embark on their sighting lap for Round 1 of the Trail and Enduro Motodynamics Natural Terrain Motocross, sponsored by the ridiculously cool guys at Moto Dynamics. The noise was epic, resonating through the valley like the Tabernacle Choir: the 150 two strokes screaming like children at the treble end of the vocal spectrum and the thundering KTM500EXC growling out a bass baritone and making it's presence felt. It may well be that, what started as a choral suite, became acoustic carnage on my brain by the end of the day causing my current cranial anguish.

I am not a smoker, but I am pretty sure that if I was one I would choose not to inhale Motul 2-stroke Special Light. We have all seen the old Quit smoking add where the man wrings out the sponges and squeezes the tar into the jar. I am pretty sure those sponges quite accurately represent what my lungs looked and felt like by the end of the day. Of course we all know that when your alveoli are choked with hydrocarbons you feel a little lite-headed and a migraine is sure to ensue.

When practice commenced we had four minutes to comprehend what lay ahead of us that day. That was about the time taken to complete a lap behind the Safety bike. The circuit I traversed was not the circuit on the brochure!! I was of the understanding that Natural Terrain Motorcross comprised a nice long flowing flat track through soft and squishy grassy pastures, with loamy, clayey dirt that would feel like mousse when you landed face-first into it. I was hoping that the corners would be bound by warm fleecy sheep ready to absorb your impact when you were high-sided off your bike out of a corner. Moreover, as the race was down south and it was the middle of winter I expected the ground to be moist and the horrible dust we endure during summer rides would be replaced with blissfully soft little bundles of sweet smelling freshly turned earth. Wrong again. To get some appreciation please do yourself a favour and watch this clip.

Having considered the events of the day, my answer to multiple choice Question 1 is (e) All of the above.