Fight the Seven Signs of Aging with ALL NEW Oil of O'lying

There are many signs of aging and Olay has made squillions of dollars pointing this out to us on TV, in glossy magazines and now on the world's worrying web. 

According to them, we should be grateful that there are actually only seven signs of aging. They are:

• The appearance of fine lines and wrinkles

• The appearance of blotches and dark spots

• Having dry and rough skin

• Having dark skin that should be visibly fairer (their words not mine?)

• Having surface dullness (I don't think they are talking about superficial dullness of interlect or personality, but who knows?)

• The appearance of pores the size of the Wolfe Creek Crater (my words not theirs)

• Skin that is not visibly firm which is a polite way of saying you have jowls like a bull mastiff

This is the number of wrinkles I have when I do push ups!

From day to day, and in the absence of a mirror, I think I do an OK job of masking my age. I have a full head of thick wavy hair, few enough grey hairs that each is assigned it's own name, rank and serial number, a reasonable complexion and my posture has not yet been compromised by arthritis or the like. As a general rule, I don't feel 42. 

People often suggest that I am a walking mid-life crisis because I like to do fun stuff like acrobatics (see Old Dog New Tricks), BMX (see Semi-matured), enduro motorcross (see Lite Relief) and Muay Thai (see Wouldn't you wear a helmet too?). But I honestly don't believe I am any less adjusted to middle age than anyone else and when I did this year's Augusta Adventure Race people many years older than me paddle rings around me.

Yes it is true that at the end of 50 sit ups or 25 push-ups my face is so very contorted that I am certain it represents the epitome of those 7 signs of aging detailed above, but I still don't feel old. However, when I go to register on line for something and I get given a drop down menu for my year of birth I suddenly feel very old indeed. 

I am not sure if it is a trick the computer programmers are playing on me, but I always seem to have to scroll and scroll and scroll through the annuals to get to 1973. From now on I am simply going to lie about my age to the likes of Facebook, Instagram, YouTube etc etc. If the tweenies (those under 13) can do it, I am sure I can too!