2015: The Year of You

I have to make an admission! To anyone that knows me, this will come as no great surprise. I am a bit of a 'yes man'. If someone asks something of me I will usually say yes; whether I stand to gain something personally from it or not.

Metaphorically speaking, saying 'yes' feeds me. No, in fact it might be more appropriate to say that I feed off of it: I feed off of the positive affirmation from those I help. Helping people somehow validates my perception of myself and the hyper-critical role I play in my own little microcosm. Helping people makes me feel more important.

Unfortunately, that metaphorical supplement is somewhat addictive. Being a 'yes man' is akin to being a smoker or being on steroids. You feel the immediate benefits and give absolutely no consideration to the long-term deleterious impacts.

For example, tomorrow I will go and meet a young university graduate. He is the son of a former Client. He is a good kid and I know that because he volunteered to help on a biological survey with me nearly seven years ago when he was only 15. He worked really hard and showed great potential as a scientist. He has done well at university and I am sure that he will find a really good job; he can find his own way. Nevertheless, I will take two hours out of my working day which, as a Principal consultant in the mining industry, will equate to lots of dollars of lost revenue and a concomitant lost opportunity cost. Why will I do it? Because he asked me to and, just like a Marlborough Red used to in the old days, this little encounter will make me feel good. The work that I have on my plate, and the deadlines that are encroaching, can wait.

Another example. About two months ago an American production company offered to pay me $500 to handle their licencing and filming permission for an Australian documentary shoot. It should have taken 2-5 hours of actual work (emails, phone calls and filling in forms). So hungry for their affirmation was I that, at last count, I had sent and received more than 362 emails organising such menial things props, accommodation, vehicle hire and suggestions for story content, in addition to the licences I was paid to organise. Why? Because they asked nicely and I could not say no. I could only say yes, because that is how I roll.

I could go on and on waxing lyrical of whimsical instances of my altruistic behavior, but I wont: I will spare you the pain.

December 31st is fast approaching. As a timely reminder of the pending need for a New Year's Resolution one of my close friends suggested that mine should be to stay out of hospital in 2015. Via martial arts, motorbikes, acrobatics and handling venomous snakes I am prone to the odd visit to triage. As I am unlikely to give up any of my past times this is a resolution I am not willing to make. 

The resolution I AM willing to make is that 2015 is to be the Year of You. Confused? Don't be. 

In 2015 I resolve not to do random and unnecessary acts of kindness for distant friends and/or acquaintances and/or work colleagues just to feed my own ego. Instead, I resolve to first think long and hard about the key people in my life before I commit to doing anything for anyone else. If my altruism does not directly benefit these key people, then I will simply say 'NO'. I will leave you to surmise who those key people are. They know who they are and that is good enough for me.