The Happy Gilmore Approach to Marketing

I grew up with the understanding that 18 holes of golf took about 12 - 14 hours to play. My father used to disappear quite early in the morning, returning in the late afternoon with barely enough time to prepare a decent meal for his two hungry boys. Preparing dinner was not his penance for a day spent on the golf course; he was a single dad. I so admired my dad for his commitment to his sport. I was certain that, if a game took that long, he must be very good at it. I had watched tennis on the TV and the most intense battles between top seeded players went on for hours. My dad must have been a 'pro'.

It is such a strange sport. Even with the grass cut so short it is impossible to find the hole and even harder to find your ball.

Naturally, I took an interest in golf and would hack up the local public golf course with a few of my mates on weekends when the weather was forecast to be particularly foul. Playing golf in the driving rain, enveloped in a seething mass of thunder and lightning, added a much needed extra dimension to what is traditionally regarded as an 'old man's' sport.

It wasn't long before I came to realisation that 18 holes of golf did not take 12 hours to play. I couldn't help but wonder what he was doing for all that time? After giving it some careful consideration I came to the conclusion that the 19th tee must have been where he was getting held up. But even that made no sense, as he never, ever came home drunk.

As a 41 year old business professional one would expect that I have seen my fair share of corporate golf days. Well, I haven't: I enjoyed my first only just the other day. 

For a very brief moment (very brief) I thought I would take it quite seriously. In fact, when I read the dress code for Lake Karrinyup Country Club, I really thought I had no other option: it is one of Western Australia's most prestigious golf courses. I was going to borrow dad's golf shoes, a pair of his gloves, buy some nice white knee high socks and wear some nice 'slacks'; whatever they are.

But common sense got the better of me and I thought "Hang on a minute - what have I to prove to anyone?" Instead, I wore my Billabong shorts, a Billabong hat, some fairly sedate Vans and a work polo. I did wear a belt and I did tuck my shirt in, which was particularly unusual. The other guys must have struggled getting organised too, as most of them forgot one of their gloves.

I felt very comfortable and, as a result, I had a really great day. Somehow I managed to hit several balls quite straight, one of which went about 220m and parked itself just shy of the green on a Par 4. That is golf speak for a "big hit" and I did not even have to take a run-up (Happy Gilmore style) to get it there. My team mates were suitably impressed. I heckled the opposition from the 6th green, whilst they were on the 7th tee. Again, my team mates were very impressed. I did not swear and I did not throw any clubs. My team mates were grateful for this. 

We all look very chuffed, not just because of how well we had just played. Cheech (front left) from Ignite Search gave a great presentation on marketing. 

It only takes about 4-5 hours to play 18 holes. But, midst the tranquillity of a world-class golf course that provides a refuge from the rat race surrounding it, it is easy to lose several hours building corporate bonds and expanding your professional network. Golf is a fantastic way to do business.